


Catch My Breath

by watchcatewrite



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Blurryface Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hiatus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/pseuds/watchcatewrite
Summary: She’s pushed the green button before she remembers what it means, lifted the phone to her ear on instinct. There’s quiet breaths on the other side, waiting for something. Jos doesn’t know what.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Catch My Breath

It’s still dark when Jos wakes, and for a moment she can’t remember why. The only light comes from just out of her reach, her phone vibrating quietly on the bedside table. She’s pushed the green button before she remembers what it means, lifted the phone to her ear on instinct. There’s quiet breaths on the other side, waiting for something. Jos doesn’t know what. 

“Jos?” The voice is small, fearful, like a child. Sleep finally loosens it’s clutches around her. 

“Tyler?”

“Jos.” He breathes her name into the phone, like it’s a relief to get it out. Like he’s been holding it back. 

“Tyler, are you okay? What is it?” They haven’t spoken in weeks. His name feels foreign on her tongue, like a word she used to know but can’t make sense of anymore. She knows what it means, but she doubts herself still. 

“I—“ The line is quiet, soft breaths fill her ear. She tries again. 

“Tyler?”

“I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry.” Jos turns slowly, cool air hitting her shoulder as it emerges from the blanket. It helps her push back at the sleep still clouding her head. 

“It’s okay.” She’s been waiting for those words, looking for them around every corner. She has her own that she’s been keeping, like a secret locked behind the ribs in her chest. Pushing to get out. 

“I— I can’t sleep.” His voice is so small, the words barely audible. Jos feels her chest tighten, that all too familiar ache. 

“It’s okay, Ty. Just talk to me.” 

The words roll off her tongue without a second thought. It’s what they do. What they’ve always done. It doesn’t matter that the last time they spoke it was to yell at each other. It doesn’t matter that she’s cried herself to sleep more nights than not the last few weeks. It doesn’t matter that she’s been missing him, aching for him, wishing he was there. It doesn’t matter. 

His voice in the darkness does. 

There’s a soft sob, a sharp intake of breath. “I can’t do it, Jos. I can’t.”

“What, Tyler?” Her words are soft, measured. 

“They won’t come, Jos. The words— they won’t come.”

She sighs softly into the receiver, her heart weighing her down into the bed. “They will.”

“But what if they don’t? What if— What if it’s just silence? Forever. What if I can’t—“

His words are choked. Another soft sob, and Jos feels a tear roll down her cheek. 

“You’ll get there, Ty. We’ll get there together.”

There’s no response, and then Jos hears it. She’s silent as her tears fall, knowing Tyler’s doing the same 2,000 miles away. Her arms are so heavy, her body so full of everything weighing her down, holding her back. Hearing Tyler break feels like a fist in her chest, knocking the wind out of her and leaving her gasping. It shouldn’t be like this. She should have never let it get like this. 

“I’m so sorry, Jos. I’m so sorry for what I said. Please forgive me. Please tell me you forgive me. I can’t— I can’t sleep.”

She covers her mouth with one hand, long fingers holding back sobbing breaths. She tries to remember how to breathe, how to keep her heart beating without feeling like it’s mangled in her chest. She can feel the blood flowing in her veins, feel it beat in her fingertips and behind her eyelids. There’s tears in her mouth, salty and unfulfilling, and Jos feels like she’s drowning. Drowning without him. 

“I forgive you. Tyler I—“ She sucks in a breath, tries to make her mouth form words they’ll both understand. “I love you. It doesn’t— nothing else matters. I love you.”

His sob echoes in her ear, quiet and broken. “Tell me we can do this. Tell me we can still do this. Together.”

Jos bites her lip, fighting back a sob and trying so hard to take a deep breath. “We can do this, Tyler. You and me. It’s always you and me.”

She listens to him cry, waiting as her own tears slowly start to dry on her cheeks. Her face feels tight, skin warm and red beneath her fingers. They both breathe for a little longer, quietly in and out into the receiver. Jos’ mind feels foggy, sleep pulling at her even as she aches for him on the other side, knowing they’re both going to sleep alone. They shouldn’t be alone. 

“Tyler?” Her voice is quiet, met with a small hum. “Will you sing to me?”

He doesn’t answer, his voice coming out of the darkness, words Jos can just barely remember. She closes her eyes, imagines him pressed up against her, arm tight over her stomach, breath tickling her ear. She’s warm, and safe, and he’s there. Always right there. She breathes slowly, in and out, his voice filling her head. 

Reminding her who she is. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for letting me be sad. 💕


End file.
